A little bit of enlightnenment courtesy of Mr Curtis White

"Realism has become a State Fiction, a part of the machinery of the political state. It is through the conventions of Realism that the State explains to its citizens the relationship between themselves and Nature, economics, politics, and their own sexuality. This massive epistemological excercise takes place everyday, right before our eyes on television, in the movies, in Times Magazine, in the simpleminded, causal rhetoric of politicians, and so on. What postmodernism has done and continues to do is oppose any totalizing fiction of life, that which, in Calvino's words, seeks "to confirm and consecrate the established order of things". (in Italo Calvino and What's Next: The Literature of Monstrous Possibility)

Thus

my mother acting as a woman her age despite the fact that she's not like a woman her age

shabby girls acting shabbily because they think they don't have other ways to fowly exist within and inside society

the total anti-ness and counter acting force at stake in what I crave for

the political acuteness of postmodernism

a direction for my thesis

yeah.